The power of being heard: seven listening habits that strengthen antenatal practice

Listening is often described as a “soft skill”. In maternity and early-parenthood work, it is anything but soft. Small changes in the way we invite, hear and respond to a family’s concerns can make education feel safer, clearer and more useful.

Most practitioners can remember a moment when a parent visibly relaxed because someone had finally understood what they were trying to say. It may have happened during a busy class, after an anxious question about feeding, or in a quiet conversation about a previous birth. Nothing dramatic was promised. The practitioner simply made space, listened carefully and responded without judgement.

That ordinary human exchange is receiving renewed national attention. The NHS England qualitative report on the 2025 Maternity Survey, published in May 2026, analysed responses from 16,755 people. It found that feeling listened to mattered throughout the maternity pathway. The report’s description of high-quality care is strikingly simple: care should be compassionate, respectful and responsive, with staff who listen and communicate effectively.

The Government has also appointed its first Maternity Adviser, with a remit that includes bringing the experiences of women and families into national work on maternity improvement. These are large system developments, but their underlying message applies equally to independent antenatal educators, breastfeeding counsellors, doulas and postnatal practitioners: people’s voices should shape the support they receive.

The encouraging part is that good listening does not require a new piece of equipment or a complete redesign of a course. It grows through repeatable habits.

1. Begin with an open door

“What would be most useful for us to cover today?” opens a different conversation from “Do you have any questions?” The second can be answered with a quick “no”, especially by someone who is shy, unsure of the group or worried that their concern sounds silly. An open question gives permission to set an agenda.

In group education, try collecting anonymous questions at the start. Online, invite questions through the chat or a short form. This helps people who need more processing time and gives the practitioner an early view of what is really occupying the room.

2. Listen for the question underneath the question

A factual question can carry an emotional one. “How long does induction take?” might also mean, “Will I cope?”, “Will my partner be allowed to stay?” or “I am frightened because of something that happened before.”

There is no need to analyse every sentence. A gentle check is enough: “Would it help if we talked through the practical side, or is there a particular part that is worrying you?” This avoids making assumptions while giving the parent control over how much they disclose.

3. Reflect before you respond

Practitioners are often selected and trusted because they know things. That can create pressure to answer quickly. Yet a short reflection may be more useful than an immediate information download: “It sounds as though you have received two different explanations and you are trying to work out what applies to you.”

Reflecting back allows the person to correct any misunderstanding. It also separates understanding from agreement. We can acknowledge that a concern is real without endorsing an unsafe claim or stepping outside our scope of practice.

4. Make room for the quietest voice

The most confident person in a class is not necessarily the person with the greatest need. Consider how turn-taking, pair discussion or a short written exercise could widen participation. Avoid putting anyone on the spot, particularly where English is not their first language, they use a communication aid, or the subject may be sensitive.

Partners and supporters also need a route into the conversation. Ask questions that include them without assuming who they are, what role they will take, or how the family is formed. “Who will be part of your support team?” is more welcoming than language built around one family model.

5. Check understanding without giving a test

“Does that make sense?” often produces a polite nod. A more useful approach is to invite the family to put the next step into their own words: “There was a lot in that section. What are the main points you want to take away?” In a class, participants might compare notes in pairs or write down one question they still have.

This is not about testing memory. It reveals where our explanation was unclear. If several people miss the same point, the teaching—not the learner—may need adjustment.

6. Be clear about where your role ends

Listening well can uncover questions that require a midwife, doctor, health visitor, emergency service, specialist charity or another appropriately qualified professional. A safe response combines warmth with a boundary: “I can hear why you want clarity. I cannot assess that symptom, so this is the point to contact your maternity unit.”

Signposting is stronger when it is specific. Keep local and national referral information current, explain why the next service is appropriate, and document significant concerns in line with your policies. If the situation may be urgent, use the relevant urgent or emergency route rather than offering general reassurance.

7. Close the loop

At the end of a conversation, summarise what has been heard, what information has been offered and what will happen next. If you have promised a link or follow-up, send it. If a recurring question reveals a gap in your course materials, record it for the next review.

Closing the loop is one of the simplest ways to show that feedback changes something. It turns listening from a pleasant manner into a professional process.

Listening is part of professional confidence

Good listening does not mean having no view, avoiding difficult information or agreeing with every request. It means giving people a fair opportunity to be heard, offering balanced information, recognising limits and responding consistently. Those habits support informed choice and help families distinguish professional guidance from confident opinion.

For FEDANT Registrants, they also sit naturally alongside externally accountable practice. Registration is not only a badge displayed after training; it signals a continuing commitment to standards, ethical behaviour and learning. When a registrant listens carefully, keeps appropriate boundaries and updates their practice in response to evidence and feedback, the public sees what professional standards look like in real life.

The national conversation about maternity improvement will continue, and some of it will rightly concern complex systems and serious failings. Alongside that work, there is value in remembering the small, hopeful truth at the centre of every good educational relationship: being heard can change how a person experiences what comes next.

Sources and further reading

• NHS England, *Maternity patient experience survey 2025: national qualitative report*, 14 May 2026: Read source
• Care Quality Commission, *National Survey shows some improvement in maternity care experiences*, 10 December 2025: Read source
• Department of Health and Social Care, *Maternity Adviser to champion safer care for mothers and babies*, 19 May 2026: Read source
• FEDANT, *Our Work*: Read source